i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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