what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
