Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
tell me about the eggs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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