the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
