using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
