She's JV to your varsity
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
