well I can't set my house on fire every night
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
