My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
