I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
