im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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