Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
