God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
