tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
