we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
