Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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