Well apparently he's into motor boating.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
