Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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