her vagine was all disorganized.
She said her name was "party"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
