i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
