She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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