She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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