i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
