I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
