Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
