I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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