Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
