he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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