I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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