You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
