please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
