I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
