operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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