Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
