Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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