I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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