I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
