If i come over, it means nothing
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
