dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Randomize
