i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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