she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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