I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this beer tastes like vomit already
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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