I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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