Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
