he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Are we still banned from the library?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
