It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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