I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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