You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
