he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
