Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
