i jhust puked up my retainher.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
