Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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