the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
