I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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