Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
