I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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