but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
