I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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