we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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