I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize