Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
