I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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