I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
