party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize