She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
