To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
