o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
