i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
